What Do I Want? A Path Back to Motivation, Meaning, and Self

Introduction

There’s a question we’re rarely asked once we reach adulthood: What do I want?

It seems simple—but this question is often buried under years of obligations, fears, expectations, and disappointments. Too many of us have stopped asking it. Too many don’t know how to answer it anymore.

The Quiet Epidemic of Not Knowing 

There’s a widespread malaise creeping through our lives. You might feel it as restlessness, sadness, or numbness. For many, it’s a kind of emotional fog. They’re functioning—but not feeling. Achieving—but not thriving.

It’s a quiet epidemic:

The loss of connection to our own desires.

And it often sounds like this:

“I don’t know what I want anymore.”

“I used to feel excited about life, but now I just feel… flat.”

“Everyone else seems fine—why do I feel so off?”

Where Did the Motivation Go?

Think back. When you were young, you probably had dreams. Curiosity. Passion. Energy. But slowly, life layered itself on top of that spark:

• Responsibilities took priority.
• Fear crept in.
• Disappointments made you cautious.
• People’s expectations became louder than your inner voice.

Eventually, your wants got buried. Not erased—but quieted.

How to Reconnect with Yourself

1. Ask the question—every day.

What do I want right now? What would bring me peace or joy—even just for 10 minutes? Ask sincerely, and be willing to hear the answer, even if it’s small.

2. Revisit your younger self.

What did you love before the world told you who to be? What brought you wonder? Play? Purpose?

3. Get quiet, not busy.

You won’t rediscover your desires through distraction. Sit in stillness. Take a walk. Journal without judgment.

4. Allow grief for what’s been lost.

It’s okay to mourn the time you’ve spent disconnected from yourself. That grief is part of the healing.

5. Take one step toward one want.

Any movement—no matter how small—restores your trust in yourself. It says: My wants matter. I matter.

Final Thoughts

If this resonates with you, you’re not broken. You’re waking up.  And that’s a sacred thing.

Desire is not a luxury—it’s a compass.

It’s your soul tugging you back toward aliveness.

So ask yourself—gently, bravely:

What do I want?

And be bold enough to listen. 

Be bold enough to visualize options. 

Be bold enough to self discover interests. 

Be bold enough to take action even if it seems minimal.  

Be bold and see joy around you.

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