The parent/child connection is a
healing force that is often underestimated. Young children with special needs begin
their therapeutic path to healing from infancy with hours of at-home therapy. This
creates a literal revolving door of therapists coming and going while the
parent is not included in the therapy sessions. The child is then sent to a
full day special education program from 3 years of age and provided with a home
program after school to continue achieving educational & functional goals.
Many families require that both parents work to make ends meet.
Quality family time and focused energy on parent child bonding becomes less of
a priority and management of tasks and scheduling of therapeutic interventions
or activities becomes overwhelming. At
the end of the day, parents are left catching up on meal planning, chores, and
bills. Or they are completely exhausted and conveniently disconnect to social
media or a good book behind closed doors. That is if you can get your kids to
sleep!
Someone once told me that your realities are the manifestation of
your focused thoughts, a frightening yet powerful concept. If you think
you aren't good enough, well then you aren't. If you live as who you want to
be, then you are. Whether you believe in this philosophy or not, for parents of
children with special needs, it seems only natural to focus on the deficits rather
than the accomplishments. We are inundated with diagnostic testing that tells
us our kids have issues and we become hyper-focused on fixing them and
making them fit in. We focus on the exterior reality or appearance rather than
the inner essence of the child. We
disconnect because we can't handle them not being good enough according to
standards set by our society.
How much time is left in the day? How much time are we actually
spending engaging our own children? The LAM (Love, Acceptance, Matters) Program
provides the parent and their child an opportunity to rebuild their
relationship and re-establish a trust and bond that may have been severed. The
program was developed by Adrienne Murphy, a speech pathologist, yoga teacher and
energy practitioner, and Lois Mettler, a puppetry master, educator, yoga teacher
and energy practitioner who combined their knowledge and years of experience
working with children. They co-created what could be the missing piece in
the healing process. Within these sessions, participants are guided through
creative, integrative play to re-connect from the child's perspective and
energy work that focuses on the mind and body connection. This state of
being in Savasana (yoga relaxation pose) allows for a more loving and open path
to letting go and accepting. This is where the real change begins. The program
has been nothing short of magnificent as it merges healing arts with creative
arts therapeutic play.
The philosophy of LAM is to meet both the parent and child without
judgment at their unique level of engagement in order to move them forward in a
more loving and connected manner. This effect leads to greater success and
achievement of the necessary developmental milestones each child needs to function
in this world. As a result, parents
become less stressed and enjoy their child’s successes without feeling like
their child is a “failure” and needs “fixing”.
Parents, who have participated, enthusiastically shared with us their
child’s achievements of various developmental milestones. Additionally, Adrienne and Lois have documented
their sessions compiling data that demonstrates success among the children they
work with in each of the following areas: increased speech-language skills
(receptive/expressive), increased emotional connection to family members,
reduction in meltdown and self-stimulation behaviors, improved social
interaction, improved eye contact, independence in toilet training, consistent
sleep patterns, improved functional activities of daily living such as feeding
and dressing, improved play skills, and increased ability to follow directions
and take turns.
We are truly grateful at the tremendous success this program has had
in such a short amount of time. The LAM program is structured to include
intakes/assessments in private parent/guardian with child sessions for ages 0-‐12. In addition to this program, Adrienne &
Lois have been providing parents the opportunity to refresh and renew with
“Mindfulness Training Workshops” a series of workshops that teaches parents
“mindfulness tools” to be fully present with their child in a more authentic
and loving way during all moments of everyday life. They provide guidance that facilitates
a more compassionate and peaceful perspective for managing challenging situations
within the family dynamic. These tools allow parents to understand the many choices
they have when reacting to their child's behaviors, and the understanding of
how negativity can impact a child's overall physical heath and emotional
well-being. The sessions also provide parents the opportunity to share their
concerns in a safe environment under complete confidentiality. After attending
the first workshop series, I found myself taking a more thoughtful approach
within my own family environment. Their
professional and mentoring approach to creating a peaceful home starts from
within and I look forward to participating in the next series.
LAM believes a positive and joyful connection between the parent and
child is crucial. This joyful connection facilitates success in all levels of
development by serving as the key to unlock each child’s special gifts and
talents. This fall LAM introduced another new and exciting program for
teens with special needs entitled, “Loving Amazing Me” for youth ages 12 - 18. The
parent is paired with his/her own teen in the program. This is an overall wellness program that
seeks to empower this age group by increasing self-esteem through connecting
with their parent in a cooperative experiential session. Teens and their parents are guided through
yoga movement, breathing exercises, meditations, mantras, energy work, sound
therapy and cooperative games, rebuilding their relationship with one another
and providing support for self-empowerment and independence.
Parents and children love coming to MarbleJam Kids for their LAM
sessions and leave with a smile. Some of the testimonials from parents of the
LAM programs are the following:
“ Thank you so
much!! We can’t believe the change in him!! The change is remarkable. For the
first time in a long time... I am able to hug and kiss my beloved grandchild.
There are no words or price that can ever express such deep gratitude to you
both...there is a special place for you and Lois in heaven...” (Nancy P-‐ grandson age 7
diagnosed with ADHD) (Bergen County)
“Use of
language increased for requesting without prompts and dramatic improvement in
independence with use of bathroom. Great program.” (Bernadette
D-‐ son aged 10
diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome) (Rockland County)
“Grandma C.
noticed better eye contact and smiles. He played better with her. Ate an apple
while he sat on mom’s lap. He did not move until he was finished. When asked if
he could have a bite, he said ‘no’. Showed signs of missing his dad when he was
away for business. Imitated “Do this” while “Face Time” with Grandma. Imitated
the phrase ‘I love you’” (Genine A-‐ son age 4 diagnosed with ASD and receptive and
expressive and language disorder) (Bergen County).
Our goal at MarbleJam Kids is to move beyond traditional therapies by
introducing progressive programs that are evidential and life affirming. We
look forward to another exciting and impressive year with LAM as a part of the
MarbleJam family!
MarbleJam
Kids is a 501c3 non profit organization and center for creative arts therapies
and enrichment programs founded by parents of children with special needs in
2007. The center is an authorized
service provider by the NJ Department of Children & Families and NJ DDD, serving
children, youth, and adults with autism spectrum disorders, developmental disabilities, and other
learning and emotional challenges. The
center also provides individual, youth and family support. More information can
be found at www.marblejamkids.org
MarbleJam Kids relies on contributions to supplement costs of programming. Giving to MarbleJam Kids directly supports programming. Please consider a contribution so that we may continue to provide and expand these programs to other communities in need of services. Go to Support MarbleJam Kids where you can learn more and give.
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